How has our life experience with ADHD affected our self esteem? What other conditions affect self esteem? Is ADHD a simple construct?
As usual, I pose a few questions. Todays study from the National Library of Science is a metanalysis of ADHD and self esteem. Most of us know that self esteem is a personal challenge, that’s for certain sure. But how has our experience in life been affected by low self esteem? Do we speak up less, thinking we are the problem? Have we changed jobs frequently? Have our relationships been affected by low self esteem?
For me, all the above were a yes, that happened to me too. Often, I am known to say, “if I knew then, what I know now, life would be differnt.” Duh , that is obvious, but how can we make life different going forward? Can we share with our friiends, collegues, family and community? What can we share?
One of my friends told me a story a few months ago. Her young adult daughter brought a beau home for dinner to meet the family. When they sat down to dinner this couragous young man said, “I have ADHD and other challenges. Please excuse me if I seem to ignore you, or if I am on social media. It is not purposeful and these are ways that I cope.” Wow! she said, he was gracious and did involve himself in the conversation, BUT, when he was distant, we knew that it wasn’t personal and we knew that he was different, and not rude.
She went on to say that he gave them permission to ask him questions and clarify his point of view. This led to a great conversation around the dinner table of how each person had similar challenges, and how they could, together communicate better.
I wonder how we can follow this young man’s example and let others know how to interpret our actions within the context of the specific situation. I wonder if the family would have shunned this young man with his distractions and idiosyncracies, rather than having a conversation? Without his strong self esteem and willingness to share, would he have come back to dinner? How would the converstion been affected?
How can we follow this young man’s example?
I know it is complicated and frightening and complex to share with our work, home, family and others. I wonder if the risks outweigh the rewards or if the rewards are too numerous to count?
Today’s article from the National Library of Science is a great meta analysis of self esteem and ADHD. I thought it was a complex, but interesting assessment of ADHD and low self esteem. Hoping you will enjoy this article.
Blessings
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